Sorry, Duke: The Difference Between Adult and “Adult” Entertainment

It’s hard to put into words how titillating Duke Nukem 3D is to 13 year-old boys of all ages. I know; I speak from experience. There is an overabundance of violence, from blowing the brains out of an alien begging for mercy to gore exploding at the screen whenever a pipe bomb goes off. There were breasts – covered, pixilated, occasionally tasseled, and 2D – aplenty. The multiplayer feature was great (for its time), the weapons were fun, and the depth of the title (short enough in length so as not to be repetitious, but with enough extra features to encourage replay) made it super-appealing to those whose weekly allowances were measured in single-digits. To this day it features everything a hyper-hormonal young lad needs for a good time, save for a built-in box of Kleenex.

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